Thoughts take me to the fantasy world of unicorns and fairies instead of down the hole.Wacky thought processes…
So you’re trying to practice Zen, not just on the cushion, but in everyday life? And this is Zen practice, being here and now, right? You’ve probably heard that Zen is not about self-improvement, growing into a “better person,” or becoming less anxious -- blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada…
This is why you started Zen practice in the first place!
You hope that maybe you’ll get to the point where you’re totally in the moment and practice just to practice. But -- damn it! -- you have to admit that you became interested in Zen because you saw yourself as a totally messed up person. You had hope that Zen would make you ________________ (fill in the blank: peaceful, tranquil, calm, compassionate, happier, cooler, hipper, poetic, integrated, actualized…enlightened).
And maybe you are noticing some “side benefits” of your practice. The people at work note that you seem calmer taking change in stride. You yell at your family less. You are able to “just do it” throughout the day without the resistance you used to have. You still have preferences, but you’re able to do less “picking and choosing” and just do what needs doing.
You are on the way, right? Next stop enlightenment city? More
There's a Hole in My SidewalkPortia Nelson poem about addiction recovery2
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep whole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit… but,
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.Chapter FiveI walk down another street.
