- What does your faith say about couples living together outside of marriage?
Rev. Ray Innen Parchelo -- a novice Tendai [Japanese Mahayana] priest and founder of the Red Maple Sangha, the first lay Buddhist community in Eastern Ontario, Canada -- answers:
The formal institution of marriage has no [Buddhist] scriptural authority for Buddhists. Consequently, couples can cohabit [live together] as they choose without sanction or blessing. Many Buddhist priests are licensed to perform civil ceremonies. Any couples who wish to can, of course, seek to have their unions blessed by a priest as an adjunct to whatever marriage service they select.
This ceremony becomes a declaration of intent before a treasured and supportive community. This adds an extra level of responsibility and consequence to the decision to form a married-or-equivalent relationship.
In some respects it thereby becomes a community-strengthening experience, where other members also assume responsibility to support the couple in building a successful relationship.
Some Buddhist sects which teach or practice in a monastic environment would not allow any marriage-type relationship to form within that cloistered time.
Therefore, if a married person spends time in a monastery, the marriage is “suspended,” as it were. They are treated as a monastic for that time and follow the standards of celibacy. Other sects, who see everyday life as the ground for spiritual fulfilment, do not discriminate between lay or clergy in allowing couples to form and raise families.
In fact, in many Asian countries, priesthood and management of a temple has been treated as a family business, with children assuming duties and carrying on from parents. More>>
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